Nathan Ingram was born and grew up on a small farm in rural east Tennessee, near Crossville, on the Cumberland Plateau. Farm work, isolation and woods-wandering molded him. He earned a bachelor’s degree double majoring in Psychology and Bible, and then a Master’s degree in psychology. He also picked up a couple counseling certificates. He has worked in the mental health field for the past thirty years and now owns a psychiatric hospital which he and his wife operates.
“I am an elder at Woodland Oaks Church of Christ in The Woodlands, Texas. My greatest delight is inspiring people to love God, which I attempt to do by pointing out common, everyday events and natural wonders as evidence of a divine creator.”
My Story: God’s greatest impact on me lately has come in the form of a small book I wrote detailing short episodes of everyday events that taught me about the nature of God and His relationship with me. Twenty-seven chapters comprise “Christ at the Coffee Shop” and each one reveals a life lesson for me. This book has been important to me because I have a character flaw: I’m not very assertive in talking to people. I thought if I could write some of these messages down so people would interpret them in the way I meant them, it would glorify God and do the readers some good. I’m convinced many people would like to know God but think He can only be found on mountaintops or peak experiences of some sort, therefore most won’t find Him. This book brings Him near, I hope.
FMM: Share your upbringing and how you became interested in psychology.
Mine was a small town, lower-side-of-middle-class, rural Tennessee upbringing characterized by farm work, bouts of vast boredom and paralyzing fear of just about everything, especially people. At the same time, there was immense beauty, an awareness of – if not intimacy with – God, good neighbors and close family. Church was important and I learned things from the Bible that did not match my inner world, so I set about learning all I could. I was really seeking God. I double-majored in Bible and Psychology at college, in search for answers to my own problems. Come to find out, the psychology of humans – yearning for significance, meaning, relationship, etc. – is complemented and fulfilled by the God discussed in the Bible. I overlooked that piece of good news for many years.
FMM: “My greatest delight is inspiring people to love God, which I attempt to do by pointing out common, everyday events and natural wonders as evidence of a divine creator.” How are you helping people today?
It starts with me. I constantly remind myself that today is all there is. It is a gift. When I focus on right now, I rarely have time to regret yesterday or worry about tomorrow. This is when I become most useful, my best self. Gratitude takes precedent at this point, and I am able to love well. I suppose I am helping most my wife and family. I am their protector and defender, the keeper of our garden. My wife does not wonder what I am doing when she is gone, she has no worries about whether she is my only person; she knows she is. The security created by loving well extends to my children and grandchildren. When I do manhood well, all of them feel safer when I am around, not more threatened. I suppose I help others also by being a shepherd at our church, speaking at various venues, counseling a never-ending stream of twenty-something-year-old young men who have no idea who they are or what they are doing here, offering mental health services to one-hundred-something clients per day at our hospital programs, being nice to waitresses, and striving always to do the next right thing. My nine-year-old grandson is my best barometer on how I am doing. When I tell him goodbye on his way to school and he says “Love you, Pop. Remember God loves you. Be kind!”, I think I am on the right track.
FMM: What surprises you the most about people when they put God first?
I am never surprised because the outcome is predictable. I am, though, wonderfully amazed and in awe at the faithfulness of God. My single greatest delight is watching a lost person learn where they are. Not only that, but whose they are and what they are supposed to be doing. It is a real tragedy to believe that unrestrained self-expression and acting out every desire will result in freedom. It invariably creates bondage. An utter submission to God and being willing to grow in who He says we are results – without fail in my experience – in freedom and life.
FMM: How have you evolved as a person through your work?
My learning curve has been more like a straight line up than a curve. It appears to me that the process of life is one big, exciting learning experience. I am different – I think better – than I was yesterday. The outcomes of our lives are the results of series of decisions. My decision to act a certain way twenty years ago had something to do with who I am now. This is very liberating because it makes me know my decisions today will affect tomorrow’s outcome. My evolution so far is that I am much less fearful of life, much more compassionate toward others, more generous, much more grateful, and I cry easily. I’ll probably be better at it tomorrow.
FMM: Tell us about what led you to write your new book, “Christ at the Coffee Shop.”
This book had the humblest of beginnings. I taught an adult Bible class and the preacher, whom I admired, told me afterward it was the best class he had ever attended, and that I ought to write it down. So, I did. It was really an amazing journey, because I wrote twenty-something more stories, too. My friend encouraged me to publish, so I sent the manuscript to seventy-eight Christian-genre publishers, all of whom said “No.” It sat a discouraged two years on my office shelf when the same friend suggested I publish it myself. So, I did. I was really fixated on putting Norman Rockwell’s “Saying Grace” painting on the cover but thought there was no way. I called Norman’s son Thomas Rockwell, had a really good visit with him and got permission to put the picture on my book. Made me happy.
FMM: Who is this book for?
This book seems to benefit most those who are in pain of some kind. I think they get a gentle reminder that God knows their name, they don’t have to be a star to be noticed, and God deeply cares about them. It appears to give them comfort.
FMM: Why is this book important to you?
This book is the most complete expose’ of me that I have ever revealed. It was really strange to realize I was writing words with absolutely no control over who would ultimately read them. Given my record of a fear-driven life, it felt as if I was presenting myself to the world to be crucified at its pleasure. It was really a vulnerable feeling. I guess this book is important to me mostly because it is my biggest real attempt – outside my family – to show up and be the man the world needs of me.
FMM: Share a few life lessons that we can find in your book.
Some life lessons: a) Hope is worth more than horses b) Boys are worth more than shovels c) If we know the Who we can endure the What without having to know the Why d) It’s good to sing in the dark e) I can be perfectly acceptable without being perfect f) God can be happy with me even if my tools are toys g) Jesus leaves an aroma.
Christ at the Coffee Shop is available on Amazon in Audible, Kindle, Paperback and Hardback. It is available from me in Hardback. You can reach Nathan Ingram at ningram123@aol.com.
